under wraps

Gen X wakes up...

2011-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

Whoa, what the? Look mom, a blog...

I've been getting a little Facebook-weary lately (or was it wary?). Anyway, I heard they had new backgrounds and "stuff" on blogger, so I thought I might go experiment. We'll see what happens...they have some cool new ideas for "themes," but apparently I need to put more images into my blog.

Easy there...let's just see if you can update the damn thing more than once a decade!

This goes out to all my Gen X bruthas and sistahs out there...you know who you are...we know where you live.

Cheers,
B

the countdown...

2010-07-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

Del Mar and Saratoga get rolling, or running, this week...must be time to roll up our sleeves and leave work early to head for the track (or at least somewhere that will take bets). I'm looking forward to finding some choice longshots at both and (perhaps) getting a glimpse at next year's Derby prospects at the same time.

Cheers,
B

there's our boy...

2010-06-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

...looking ready for the test of champions today.

When the trainer says at the end of the bullet work "most good horses that I've ever had would put in that kind of work" keep in mind that it's Bill Mott...who trained Cigar.

Drosselmeyer over Ice Box, Fly Down and Dave in Dixie (not necessarily in that order).

Bet early, bet often,
B

a sad day at pauley

2010-06-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

The Wizard owned college basketball...and will for decades to come.

big news day...

2010-05-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, to summarize...Dio dead. Pot Cheap. Miss America, good at pole dancing.

Good night...and have a pleasant tomorrow.

B

economic casualties...

2010-05-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

And this is bad how? Perhaps they need a branding consultant to differentiate their product?

horns up...

2010-05-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

RIP, RJD.

Thanks to the Flip, for the tip.

cool cam feed #1

2010-05-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

Ummm, I've seen this somewhere before...

two words

2010-05-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

Preakness. Caracortado.

the buc stops, um, here...

2010-05-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

The Pirates have come a long way since Bill Mazerowski. Exhibit A.

the horse with the name you can't spell...

2010-04-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

...is out of the Derby. Eskendereya (I think). Too bad, he would have taken all the easy money.

Thanks to the good Doctor for the scoop.

B

could d wayne be holding out on us???

2010-04-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Dublin's maiden win @ Saratoga...keep in mind this is at least 1/2 mile less than he wants to run.

joe's horse

2010-04-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

This one's for you, RP. And another, maiden win at Calder as a 2yo. Bet early and often...

B

P.S. I know you were wondering...he's a dual qualifier...as are Super Saver, Lookin at Lucky, Awesome Act, Dublin, Interactif, Discreetly Mine and (if they decide to run her) the filly, Devil May Care, is too.

dude...

2010-04-24T22:58:00.001-07:00

...sometimes you just need to sit down and ride it out.

curious...

2010-04-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's the, ahem, little things, that test a president. We'll have to follow this one...

B

help me out here...

2010-04-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

What part of hanging out at Starbucks on Sunday morning with your cop hair, your cop shades and your cop boots before you go out to speed trap locals (not me...this time) in a 25 zone is part of "protecting and serving the community?" Huh???

japanese motors

2010-04-09T22:17:00.001-07:00

These guys are The Strokes as a surf band. Signle Fins...shades of a Nude Beach gig.

rockon,
B

there is another way to win the Derby, but...

2010-03-31T00:28:00.000-07:00

...you have to be a lot luckier. Watch for young, upstart jockey, Jerry Bailey get the ride of a lifetime.

what to look for in your Derby winner...

2010-03-31T00:23:00.000-07:00

This is Secretariat in the Hopeful, a 2yo stakes race run at Saratoga in late summer. I believe it's a 7 furlong race (a long sprint). You'll recognize him early on in the race, he's huge and in dead last. Check out the move he makes...

Cheers,
B

for your consideration, part 3...

2010-03-31T00:12:00.000-07:00

Isn't it great, burning the midnight oil watching horse races on you tube? I thought so. Awesome Act. Gotham Stakes at Aqueduct. Field full of wannabes. Watch him sneak up on them. Pounce. Gear down. Mission accomplished.

for your consideration, part 2...

2010-03-31T00:07:00.000-07:00

Super Saver. Again, Churchill, 2yo stakes race. May need the lead, but...did you see him come back to the field on the turn? And yet...did you see the "huge tracts of land" between him and the place horse? Did I mention that was at Churchill also? Hmmmm.

for your consideration, part 1...

2010-03-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

Drosselmeyer. I believe this is a maiden race, so who knows about the level competition, but still, it's Churchill.

you've got to have a purpose in life, son...

2010-03-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

I received a message tonight from above. I'm on a mission. My new role is to document abuses of taxpayer time and money by the West Sacramento Police Department. Judging by a cursory internet search, this won't be too tough.

How did I receive this message you ask? Well, I was just minding my own business, driving down Jefferson tonight w/the kiddies and all the sudden I came upon an 8pm traffic jam. What could it be?

So, after 15-20 minutes of sitting in traffic, I finally get to the actual checkpoint, give my driver's license, get the look (yeah, occifer, I always take my kids out for Irish Car Bombs on St. Patty's Day) and I'm waved on. Fortunately, the duchess was relatively quiet in the trunk.

As I passed I could help but notice that the two officers actually working the checkpoint had a crowd of at least a dozen, perhaps as many as 20 onlooking police officers from a variety of law enforcement agencies. I'm sure Wednesday is always a big drinking night on the West Side, so no doubt they were all absolutely critical to the task at hand.

I realize that by playing this role, I'm likely to be pulled over every time I round the corner or perhaps even have my house mysteriously set ablaze. I have to say, I'm to worried about the latter though, since I'm paying just shy of $2000/year (per fucking YEAR!) to the fire department.

Not that I'm bitter...I've got your fucking tea party, right here, bitch.

overandfuckingout,
B

off with their heads...

2010-03-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so...there's this thing. Some of you long time readers may know about this (or parts of this), others may not. I'm sure I'm violating some sort of internet privacy common sense here, but this has been on my mind for a while, I just haven't found the spare few minutes to type it all out...and, when I'm done, who knows if it will have been a good idea or not.

I'm sure most of you have heard of phenobarbital. It's the most commonly used anticonvulsant worldwide. It's been around since the early 1900s. Why is this important, you ask? I've been taking it since I was 11.

Yes, settle down, it's strictly for medicinal purposes.

Anyway, I recently saw my neurologist at the request of my general practitioner, who seems to get occasional bouts of paranoia that my liver is going to explode if I keep taking phenobarb. My GP once called it "barbaric." After several discussions w/the neurologist about the pros (it's worked for 35 years w/o incident) and cons (liver failure, loss of short term memory, calcium loss) of phenobarbital, he decided that it would be best for me to switch medicines.

In the past I had really been against switching. Even with the knowledge that there are better, stronger, faster medicines out there that are less the "blunt instrument" that phenobarb is, there is a certain amount of risk in switching...let's see...withdrawals, seizures, potential dmv hassles, new sets of side effects and, well, death. This time I decided to just go for it though...there's a part of me that wonders if I've been missing out on something all these years. I've taken the stuff for so long, I'm kind of used to feeling a certain way...but what if there's something more than that out there. What if all your life there was some sensation you weren't experiencing or weren't experiencing the way the rest of the population was? Wouldn't you want to know???

For those of you who never knew, I can imagine you're thinking...hmmmm, that explains why his hangover used to last 2 days or "I always knew there was something strange about that boy." For those of you who knew, well you probably want to know if I have any left (no) or if the new stuff was any good (jury still out).

As far as the new set of potential side effects, let's see:

irritability...check
neck stiffness...check
thoughts of suicide...nope
dizziness...nope
drowsiness...yes, but I always need a nap anyway
seizures...nope
hallucinations...still waiting
priapism...kidding

So, there you have it, my medical history on the internet...really, I just thought it a bit bizarre to change after so long and am eagerly awaiting whatever life has in store at this point. Just thought I'd share...

Cheers,
B

India one-ups Pamplona...

2010-01-03T22:16:00.000-08:00

Who needs bulls?

the big D

2009-12-20T22:25:00.000-08:00

Since I'm (relatively) fresh back from Dallas, here are a few useless observations:

Dallas is not pedestrian friendly (yes, that means I didn't have a rental car).

There's not much to do in Dallas (see above).

The food is great there (see any Pappas Bros. restaurant, Sonny Bryan's, Landry's, etc)...it's all good...except the food at the Radisson near Love Field.

Southern hospitality does not extend to driving.

If you get off the freeway to go to your hotel and you see a pawn shop, get another hotel.

Starbucks is finally making inroads in Texas (on my previous trip to Dallas, I had to drive across town for a mocha).

The airport is huge. Know your gate. And your terminal. Allow extra time for sprinting between gates and or terminals.

Pappy's Burgers on Mockingbird serves a mean bacon cheeseburger and fries.

Austin is much more fun...

B

them crooked vultures...

2009-11-29T13:35:00.001-08:00

run, don't walk...

a better mousetrap

2009-11-11T22:12:00.000-08:00

I've been very bad. I have a little mouse problem (that's an understatement: my house backs to a field...I likely have a HUGE mouse problem). I bought some traps. They have all kinds of mouse traps now that make that old wood and gnarly spring-loaded gadget look downright primitive. So, I got some glue traps and some slightly more expensive "mouse motels" that lure the mouse in with bait (happy to get rid of some peanut butter, thanks). 24 hours later...two mice caught. One in the motel...which is very swift justice apparently...just when he gets to his PB last supper, SNAP...it's all over. The other one in the glue trap. Now, for some reason, they don't advertise this, but the glue trap doesn't kill the mouse...it is just glue after all...it keeps them from getting to food/water and eventually they die. I didn't realize that "eventually" is a fairly long time, so when I picked up the trap to, um, humanely dispose of the mouse, he looked up at me and said "yo, I talked to The Man...all that shit you did in high school and college...you were gonna get away with all that, but this animal cruelty shit...you're goin' down, bitch."

I'm not sure exactly what he meant by that, but I've been having mousemares ever since...

XOXOXO,
B

breeders cup

2009-11-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

OK, after a dismal 0-fer Friday, I'm hoping for a turnaround play on Saturday. Here goes nothin'...

Juv Turf Viscount Nelson
Turf Sprint Desert Code (won last year at 36:1, might have similar odds this year)
Sprint Fatal Bullet
Juv Eskendereya, Aikenite, Radiohead (no clue, really)
Mile Goldikova (again), Ferneley
Dirt Mile Mastercraftsman, Chocolate Candy (he has to show up eventually, right?)
Turf Dar Re Mi, Precious Passion (watch for a 20 length lead anyway)
Classic Twice Over, Girolamo, Einstein (I'm assuming Rip's foot still hurts)

I suspect that the Euro horses will show their class again and clean up here. Someone in the breeding shed in KY needs to start work to fix that...soon.

Bet early, bet often. Desert Code is my pick of the day. Won it last year at huge odds, came in off a prep that he lost, loves the downhill turf course, has a great outside post to survey the pace from, can be close up or far back. Bombs away!

Cheers,
B

meat

2009-10-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always been a meat-eater. This almost cured me of that.

just say no?

2009-10-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting twist to the debate on abstinence...sorta. You kids...run along and have sex now...just watch for planes falling from the sky.

think you had a rough day?

2009-10-14T22:32:00.001-07:00

huh?

2009-09-21T19:29:00.000-07:00

that's gonna hurt...

what if...

2009-09-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

...you had a blog, but everybody was on Facebook instead?

people who died...

2009-09-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

RIP, Jim Carroll, Catholic Boy.

is this covered under Obamacare?

2009-09-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

Ouch!

Happy Labor Day weekend, y'all...watch where you put your fingers.

Cheers,
B

PS. Thanks again, Doc...top-drawer research.

blog v. facebook

2009-08-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, yeah...so it's been a while. It's not like I haven't been lurking on the internet late at night (or early in the morning, for that matter). I just haven't been saying as much. At least not all at the same time. Cause it won't fit in the box. I keep it short. Brief. Concise. And add photos. And links. And chat. I can stalk people. they can stalk me. I now know that some people I previously thought were dead, may, in fact, be quite alive. This scares me. All of it. Yet, I keep using Facebook.

I tried Twittering for a while. It lasted about a week. Maybe I'm too longwinded for it? Or can't think of enough witty things to type 50 times a day. I don't know.

Will the Facebookers and Twitterers of the world win out? Will we all have even shorter attention spans? Will a zombie virus of doom bring one or both to their respective knees (you know it's coming)? Are blogs doomed to go the way of the book, the album, the cd?

Call me old fashioned, but I'm keeping mine around. I may not update it as often, but it's still fun to get a little longer run in every now and then. Besides, I know some of my blog readers (all 7 of them...yes, I have 7). Some of them choose to remain anonymous. Maybe for legal reasons. Warrants. Some may have ex-girlfriends. Or spouses. Or ex-spouses. Or current girlfriends. Whatever.

I suppose that as with all media...there will be winners and losers.

What about you, dear reader(s)...where do you sit in the twitter-facebook-blog continuum? Or are you just consuming...and not looking up from your plate?

************

I was listening to my Placemats (aka Replacements) cd today and heard the intro to "Kids Don't Follow" with the Minneapolis police saying, "the party's over. if you all just grab your stuff and go, then nobody goes to jail." For some reason that mde me think of la musica de los Nude Beach...so, Rex, Jake, Throat and Sid...wherever you are, thanks for the good times and great memories (the few that are left, anyway).

On an unrelated note, here's a thought:

Sometimes life may take you up to incredible heights...many stories up, down the hall, behind closed doors...and show you a (nearly) really good time...only to turn around and toss you down the elevator shaft soon after. It may take some time to climb up out of the shaft, but when you get back out to the street at least you'll have a healthy respect for heights.

Cheers,
B

oh, to be a Canadian mathematician...

2009-08-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

Swine flu? It could be worse...

Thanks Doc...nice research.

zooey

2009-06-09T22:46:00.001-07:00

500 Days of Summer

the other bird...

2009-06-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

Summer Bird gets a patient ride for Kent Desormeaux's Belmont revenge and trainer Tim Ice's 35th birthday present...not to mention the second $200+ score (win + trifecta) of the day for yours truly. I had to sit through inquiries/objections on both of my wins today. That's very taxing on the soul and I could feel months slipping from my life. It's been a while since I had a winning day...would you believe January 3rd? That's gambling for you...another round?

Cheers,
B

Austin City Limits Festival 2009 Lineup

2009-06-05T10:15:00.001-07:00

ACL 2009 Lineup

Shared via AddThis

a few things...

2009-06-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

OK kiddies, the Belmont is just 2 (count 'em) days away and in my cursory glance through the past performances I noticed a few things:

1) There isn't much speed in the race (except Charitable Man)
2) Summer Bird is adding blinkers
3) D. Wayne Lukas is insane (ok, there...now he'll win for sure)
4) Gomez is riding Chocolate Candy, NOT Dunkirk!

Right now I'm leaning toward boxing the two birds (Summer Bird, Mine That Bird) with Charitable Man. Won't pay a ton, but...you never know. It's supposed to pour at Belmont on Friday and be clear on Saturday, so the track will likely be hard as I-5...at a mile and a half, that's gotta hurt. I'm going w/my 3 horse combo because the all have Belmont-winning daddies (Birdstone and Lemon Drop Kid) who have a special place in my heart after their 30:1+ Belmont wins to deny/defeat Triple Crown wannabes.

More later,
B

PS. Did you see that lightning last night??? Whoa...

the bird is the word...

2009-05-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

...just wait.

by request...

2009-05-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

here's the overhead video of the final turn and stretch of the Derby...look at that hole he squeezes him through on the rail...nice horse, even better ride!

Damn...

mine that f$#%ing bird...

2009-05-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, my hat is off to Calvin Borel. That was a fucking amazing ride yesterday. I know they say it's more about the horse than the jockey, but I feel safe in saying that Mine That Bird would not have won without Calvin calling the shots. Borel had an amazing weekend, winning on Rachel Alexandra in the Oaks by 20 lengths and then coming back and uncorking his patented rail-skimming move to win the Derby. Nice payday(s).

I was bitching before the race about how I had bet MTB in the Breeder's Cup Juvenile last October and he finished up the track (12th place). Perhaps that extra 3/16 of a mile was just what the doctor ordered...

There were a lot of comparisons to Calvin's great ride of Street Sense to win the 2007 Derby, but think about this...Street Sense was the favorite coming off a win the previous year in the BC Juvenile, Mine That Bird was 12th in the BC Juvenile and 50:1. Mine That Bird's last race had him 4th in the Sunland Park Derby, not the most prestigious of Derby prep races.

So now the question becomes "can he win the triple crown?" Might seem odd to ask that of a 50:1 shot, but he had the largest margin of victory in 60+ years. My take on it is that he may have a tough time with the Preakness, given that he seems to be a closer and the Preakness is not kind to closers, historically speaking. His daddy won the Belmont, so maybe if he can win the Preakness, he has a shot. Hope that guy has enough gas in the van to get him from track to track.

B

schoolin'

2009-05-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

I learned a valuable lesson today...or I'm in the process of learning it anyway. It's been a while since I had seen Buckaroo Banzai...apparently I had forgotten:

"no matter where you go, there you are."

On an unrelated note, I think they picked the wrong race for Rachel Alexandra.

the track is currently sloppy at Churchill and the forecast is for a 40-50% chance of rain for most of tomorrow. This may not bode well for my choices...time to take a closer look at Friesan Fire and a few others...including Nick Zito's curious last minute entry, Nowhere to Hide, who has the highest mud breeding figure I've ever seen (480?!).

betearlybetoften,
B

we are the pigs...

2009-04-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

who needs swine?

2009-04-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm...kinda puts it in perspective now, doesn't it?

I'll have the carnitas...

2009-04-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

It's swine flu panic season...although the water-cooler talk seems to have moved on from that already. I guess someone will need to drop in the hallway and start randomly hurling on his/her co-workers before we take it too seriously at the evil empire.

Oh yeah, there's a race this weekend. So, who to bet on? Well, if you were watching 2 year-old races last summer and fall, hoping to pick your Derby winner, you can pretty much forget about those horses since only 3 2yo stakes winners (Pioneer of the Nile, West Side Bernie and Desert Party) actually had the stamina to stay racing until the First Saturday in May. Speaking of stamina, if you're looking for an elusive dual qualifier it appears that only 3 entrants (I Want Revenge, Pioneer of the Nile and...drum roll please...Chocolate Candy) have the right combination of stamina and 2yo ability. Check out www.drf.com for more Derby info...and free past performance info as well.

I'll be plunking down some money on Chocolate Candy to win, he's at the top of my short list of horses, which also includes Pioneer of the Nile, I Want Revenge, Mr. Hot Stuff and General Quarters. It's hard to tell just how much speed there is in the race...Regal Ransom will definitely be gunning for the lead, but many of the other favorites can hang back a little. Let's hope that Derby Fever sweeps over them and they give our hero, Chocolate Candy, some pace to run at.

Ok, I've got a lot more to say, but I'm too tired to keep typing tonight. I do have a thought for the folks who do Wienerschnitzel's ad campaign. You have to walk with a certain strut to carry a cup emblazoned with the caption "America's Most Wanted Wiener."

Cheers,
B

there is no love...

2009-04-13T21:57:00.001-07:00

...except the love for the Onion.

fever

2009-04-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official.

I have Derby fever (again).

I watched the Arkansas Derby today on ESPN and didn't see anything to change my mind on my two Derby picks, Chocolate Candy and Dunkirk. However, what I did see was a maiden-winner who was entered into one of the main Kentucky Derby preps who started a step slow, dead last, but finished a fast-closing third to two established 3-year old stakes winners (Old Fashioned and Papa Clem). The horse had a trainer I had never heard of before. Same for the jockey. His name is Summer Bird. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that if he keeps going down "the path" he will likely win the Belmont Stakes. Why? Because he's a son of Birdstone, of course.

I missed the Blue Grass altogether, but it's on polytrack...so it probably really doesn't matter who did what there, right?

gameon,
B

roadkill

2009-04-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been quite a week (almost). Early in the week, I was on my way into work and saw a crow dragging some roadkill entrails across the road in morning traffic. That should have been an obvious sign that it was going to be a long, busy week.

Lots of Derby preps this weekend...Wood Memorial, Santa Anita Derby and Illinois Derby. I like Imperial Council, Chocolate Candy and Giant Oak to win, respectively. I was disappointed to see the filly, Stardom Bound, is no longer being pointed to the Derby...apparently didn't show quite enough improvement in winning her 5th straight Grade 1 stakes. I think that's a huge mistake...there's no overwhelming colts this year, the time is ripe for a girl to steal it.

Speaking of the Derby, if you can't make the race, you can always pick up a Derby Barbie and play along at home. Sorry, but inflatable Derby Inge was pulled from shelves.

Need a little something for the Easter basket of the guy who has everything? Thanks, RP.

I'm still waiting for my stimulus coin, no word from the Obamanation yet...

Ok, I see enough kid movies that well...I just see a lot of kid movies, but this one was pretty funny.

Rescue Me fires up again next Tuesday for a lengthy (22 episode) run. It's one of the few shows...scratch that...one of the only shows, other than the Simpsons, that's still worth watching. Mr. Leary can still bring it...

ridersup,
B

why not me?

2009-03-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. President:

I submit to you my proposal for a shovel-ready project that is very deserving of a very small slice of the stimulus package.

I recently purchased a home in an area of the country that was hard hit by the recent bursting of the real estate bubble. So far, I have not been eligible for any tax credits, rebates or other forms of aid available to some homeowners. I did not let that deter me from my purchase.

My plan is simple. I have a house. It has an unimproved backyard (apparently the previous owner might have enough trouble affording the mortgage, much less grass and cement). Anyway, my house would be a much nicer place with a pool and patio in the backyard. I figure it will cost around $32,000(ish). I'm not getting anything too ornate, just your standard swimming pool, some cement, some grass, pool equipment, etc.

Here are a number of reasons why I think you should send a little paper my way:

1) Unlike many recent political appointees, I pay my taxes...every year.
2) My project couldn't be more shovel-ready.
3) It will utilize a section of the workforce hardest hit by the sagging economy...construction workers.
4) It will infuse money into the state and local economy via taxes.
5) I'm willing to get competitive bids.
6) I really don't want to weed back there.
7) I won't pay out any bonuses until the project is complete.
8) It will benefit the community by helping keep kids off the streets.
9) I, like you, took Carolina to win the NCAA basketball tournament.
10) It will add to the scenic beauty of the community.
11) It will continue to inject money into the local economy when I pay higher utility bills, buy food and drinks for guests and pay for their cab rides home when they're too plastered to make it back over the river (and through the woods).
12) It will be energy efficient. In fact, if you're willing to throw down a little extra, I'll go solar and push electricity back into the grid.
13) The amount I'm asking for is less than 10% of my lifetime federal income taxes (and also less than I lost last year in my 401k).
14) I'll invite you (and the family) to the inaugural swim party.

For these reasons I think you should fund this project ASAP. I can have a deal ready with a contractor by the end of the week and we can be swimming by summertime.

Thank you for your support,
Brian

byol

2009-03-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

bring your own lampshade,
somewhere there's a party,
hear it's never ending,
can't remember when it started,
pass around the lampshade,
they'll be plenty enough room in jail.

Cheers,
B

a little wii...

2009-03-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

sewer vampires???

2009-03-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit concerned that there wasn't full disclosure during my recent home purchase. I guess I should just be glad they lost their chompers climbing out of the sewer. Hopefully they'll keep the rodents away too...

the lie

2009-03-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last week reading this book called The Lie that I had picked up on my latest road trip. I finished it tonight and I have to say that it was one of the more painful reading experiences I've had in my life. That being said, it did a good job of sucking me in...probably due to all the sex...and it was a page turner for a while...probably for the same reason. Apparently this guy's first book, Average American Male, wasn't selling well or couldn't get published until they threw some YouTube videos out there to promote it and it took off. So, I guess I have to give the guy some props for having some business savvy.

This book was, hmmmm, I'm not even sure of the right words to use...deplorable comes to mind, so does shallow. Maybe it was a little to real (let's hope not, I have two kids I'd like to send to college some day). Anyway, it's essentially about a guy, his best friend and his on-again, off-again girlfriend. I won't go into it much other than to say that it's essentially watching them screw over one another (and everyone else around them) for four long and painful years of college. It does include acts of perversion so profound (and disgusting) that decorum prohibits mentioning them here. I'm sure that will send half my readers to Borders, but hey...don't say you weren't warned.

I was going to really go off on this guy's book, but he's published...so that's something. He (somehow) kept the story moving and I did learn something from the book...two things actually. Don't do this. Don't write like this.

Beware the Ides of March...

B

derby dreams...

2009-03-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

...this is definitely not the easiest way to move into the Derby Watch Top 20 KY Derby prospects. Check this race by Dunkirk...yes, that's him 5 (or more) wide on the first turn...the same kind of trip he's likely to get in a 20 horse derby field.

He appears to be reasonably bred to get the Derby distance...who knows??? There's a couple small catches...he didn't race at 2 (no horse has won the Derby in the recent past without racing at 2) and he has $0.00 in graded stakes earnings. He may need to win the Florida Derby to get in.

betearly...betoften,
B

Go Lance...

2009-02-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

Lance takes a (well-deserved) shot at the media.

space junk

2009-02-15T21:56:00.001-08:00

I think Devo wrote a song about this...

But wait...more bad news...apparently astronauts are peeing on us, we've all got a little Gene Roddenbury in/on us and hey, watch out for that spatula!!! Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark...

it's early, but...

2009-02-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

...it's never too early to start looking for a Derby winner.

Here are a few to watch:

Chocolate Candy
Pioneer of the Nile
Desert Party
Stardom Bound (a girl!)
Giant Oak
Patena

30 years of ripping...

2009-02-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

From RP...Powell/Peralta Ripper Art Show.

30 years? Damn I'm old...

B

karaoke rage...

2009-01-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

I knew there were reasons why I never had the urge to do the karaoke thing...here's one of them. The "holy diver" guy probably deserved whatever he got though...

rockandroll,
B

the life and times of the funky red sofa

2009-01-18T22:43:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been quite a weekend and it's not even over yet. Last week I made a bold furniture purchase (see above) and picked up the funky red sofa off craigslist from a lovely girl who we'll call Janet (but whose real name is Sarah). The sofa itself wasn't so much the bold part of the purchase...no, that would be me getting it off c-list. A good experience all the way around. Janet was quite the marketeer, telling me how there were a number of people interested in the funky red sofa. It was in good condition, but far from perfect (cushions are a little saggy...so if you sleep over, angle for the sectional instead). Anyway, the best selling point of the couch was the free delivery part. Unfortunately, this did not include lifting, hoisting, wrestling, manhandling the funky red sofa up the stairs and around a 180 degree turn at the top (did I mention it's a sleeper?). Thanks to dad and furniture sliders, we were able to deftly maneuver it into its new home in the loft/game/soon-to-be-Warhol room.

I bought a book today with some Borders gift card leftovers, Roll the Bones...a history of gambling. Should be a good one. I'm looking forward to it, but alas, my stack is growing again and perhaps I should be reading instead of blogging. The problem is, this gets pretty addicting once you get rolling.

I rode a skateboard yesterday for the first time in, hmmmm, a very long time...maybe as long as 20 years. It's not quite the same as riding a bike. I can no longer do six 360s...or even one (but I'm close). Admittedly, my first ride down the driveway on my daughter's Criss Angel skateboard was mildly terrifying (loose trucks); however, I survived and lived to take a few laps around the park. It was very liberating. Jake, I now see why you still ride. I just don't think my body would recover from any falls.

rockandrollover,
B

scary jell-o

2009-01-13T21:53:00.001-08:00

this fright courtesy of the boingboingers.

if movie posters were honest...

2009-01-13T21:47:00.001-08:00

...if you've seen a movie in the past few years, you'll likely find some humor in this.

how much for the women...

2009-01-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

Alright, I might be a little out of touch since moving to the country...and I'll confess to not being as up to the minute as I should be on Oaxacan marital customs, but c'mon...

Here it is on video, for those of you who can't read.

Cheers,
B

wow, a month...

2008-12-27T10:27:00.000-08:00

Who runs this blog anyway? Sheesh...

So, let's see it's been a month. What's happened? There were some holidays. I'm older now (officially, not mentally). Rates fell. Locks were broken. Locks were changed. Internet access was MIA. Ants were gone, but now they're back. It's been a few months since I've seen a horse race. My car is shooting warning messages at me faster than I can call the shop. I have surround sound. My fridge makes ice now. I don't know where the dish soap is. I live in a spaghetti factory. Cables. Everywhere.

There's more, but...I have to go take care of that horse race thing. It's an issue.

Hope all y'all had a frohliche weinachten...or something like that. New Year's resolutions anyone? Anyone?

Cheers,
B

butt bandit

2008-11-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

"...appear to be the work of a lone deviant." Uh huh, sure. I smell conspiracy...and corn, strangely.

oops...

2008-11-23T21:44:00.000-08:00

don't leave McDonald's without it.

never heard of this track, but...

2008-11-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Ms. L for the tip.

B

for real?

2008-11-18T18:03:00.000-08:00

comments?

Doing the math, hmmmm...was 24 when appetite came out and let's see (taking shoes off), I'm...hmmmm...44 now. Even Tommy must be pushin' 30 by now...

Just in case you're not up-to-date on the full story, click here.

rockandroll,
B

Maybe their comeback will rival theirs?

good sportsmanship or...

2008-11-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

...sympathy fuck?

so, you wanna be in politics?

2008-11-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

Thinking about networking for a cabinet appointment from the O? Better check your sent items first...then start working on a little "discovery" for your questionnaire.

Best of luck...

B

water?

2008-11-09T23:06:00.000-08:00

Click here to reset default settings.

toga...

2008-11-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

it's all fun and games...

bad pr?

2008-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Should I be concerned that the main way "outsiders" find their way to my blog continues to be via an image of a bratwurst?

random items from the week...

2008-11-07T23:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm not sure any of these things are connected, but they just caught my eye this past week...

I've seen people do all kinds of weird shit in cars in my driving days, but today I saw a completely new one. A woman in a minivan using a lint roller on the sleeve of her sweater at a stoplight. Who the hell carries one of those around in their car?

Alright, when someone leaves a sandwich bag in a bathroom stall at work, what exactly was in it? (I didn't bother to pick it up or give it the sniff test). A couple joints? an egg salad sandwich? What???

Let's say you have a car accident and take your car to a body shop. While they're fixing it, they notice that it's had some previous body work done (that the person who sold you the car conveniently neglected to tell you about). Is it worth pursuing with the previous owner...now that you've wrecked it again?

How long does it take before a house is completely engulfed by the ground beneath it?

If you work with an manager or executive who is the type of person who processes all their thoughts out loud while they're thinking through an issue, is it your job to warn them that some people might hear some "intermediate" thought of theirs and perceive it as direction?

Isn't it great to pay $40 (instead of $75) for a tank of gas!!! Think of all the Newcastle that will buy...or all the Mello-Roos it could pay. Grrrr...

Cheers,
B

to all the early morning walkers...

2008-11-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

Just an observation from 0-dark-30 this morning...no amount of reflective orange striping on your jacket will protect you when you're walking down the middle of the fooking street. Get thee to the shoulder or pose like a hood ornament...

"a betting fool"

2008-10-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

So, the Breeder's Cup recap...well, if you read my post and recognized a few of the names, that's because several of them won. So, how did I do you ask? Well, I lost $108 on the day. (By the way, a note on accounting here...if you win $300 in the first race and then proceed to give it all back plus another $100, you are not entitled to say "I won $300").

It turns out that, in the thoroughbred wagering world, not only do you have to be able to solve the puzzle of a horse race (and scream at the tv in the simulcast center to instruct your jockey how not to be an idiot), but you also have to know how to bet on a race...or two races or three races.

So, first let's recap what actually happened:

a) I showed up late and missed a 13:1 horse that I liked in race 1.
b) Desert Code won the second race and my meager $5 win bet paid $180-something.
c) I neglected to box the two horses I liked in the third race, foolishly listening to an interview with his trainer before the race ("he's more of a 7/8ths horse than a miler"). Yeah, he sure looked like that when he closed with a rush to get second behind my other horse, you fooking arsehole.
d) I knew Goldikova would take the Mile, but hadn't bet him to win since he was such a short price...only had him in some pick-3 tickets.
e) Juvenile...completely clueless, shoulda gonna w/Baffert in a 2yo race...duh.
f) Juv Turf...called the euro-exacta, just didn't bet it...think I used them in trifecta and pick 3 bets only.
g) Sprint...again, Baffert...clueless...race set up perfectly for last year's winner. No money to be made there. This race and the Juvenile really screwed some pick 3's for me.
h) Turf...went with the place horse to win...had Dancing Forever to win and had Conduit in a number of bets, but none of them with the right combination.
i) Classic...so, the two horses who were the most freaked out before the race. They scared me off Henrythenavigator, by describing how lathered up he was in the paddock...I also saw Raven's Pass rear up multiple times in his stall prior to the race. WTF?

So, I cashed one ticket...a nice one...not nice enough...should have left and gone home to watch on tv after that. But, since hindsight is 20-20, let's examine how the betting could have gone...with a little more of a "system."

For the sake of brevity in this already mile-long post, we'll look at the first 5 races only. Let's say, that I take (no more than) my top 3 horses in each race and bet them to win, then also put the same horses in an exacta box, and a pick-3 (with no more than 3 from the next two races). That winds up being a max of $29/race...sounds like a lot for an amateur, but bear with me here.

Race 1: Sixties Icon, Muhannak
Race 2: Desert Code, Diabolical, Idiot Proof
Race 3: Albertus Maximus, Rebellion
Race 4: Kip Deville, Goldikova
Race 5: Street Hero, Mine That Bird

Race 1 Cost: $4 win bets, $4 exacta bets, $12 pick-3
Race 2 Cost: $6 win bets, $6 exacta bets, $12 pick-3
Race 3 Cost: $4 win bets, $4 exacta bets, $8 pick-3
Race 4 Cost: $4 win bets, $4 exacta bets, $12 pick-3
Race 5 Cost: $4 win bets, $4 exacta bets, $12 pick-3

Total Hypothetical Cost for first 5 races: $100 (I didn't plan it that way...really)

Race 1 winnings: $26.80
Race 2 winnings: $458.10 ($75 win + $383.10 exacta)
Race 3 winnings: $5385.00 {$14.60 win + $109.30 exacta + $5261.10 pick-3)
Race 4 winnings: $1201.10 {$5.60 win + $13.60 exacta + $1181.90 pick-3)
Race 5 winnings: $0

Total Imaginary Winnings through 5 races: $7071

Yeah, I could have used that to stimulate the economy...oh well. Someday I'll learn how to bet and be REALLY dangerous. Until then I'll just continue to be the chairman of an elite league of morons...

See you in the springtime,
B

breeder's cup picks...

2008-10-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

OK, well...the good news is I didn't completely lose my shirt on Day 1, I had a trifecta in the first BC race with Ventura to keep me afloat. Stardom Bound continues to be very impressive...Zenyatta got all the press, but to me Stardom Bound was much more visually impressive...some might say "freakish."

Here's the good word for Saturday:

Marathon: Sixties Icon looks like an obvious Euro-fave, Muhannak might be a good longshot here.

Turf Sprint: Think the SA locals have an advantage here, Desert Code looks like he will get a good run...Diabolical looks good as well. I really like the horse Idiot Proof, but he only has one turf race, a 2nd place finish...and not on this course. Tough race to handicap.

Dirt Mile. I like two horses with good synthetic track records here, Albertus Maximus and Rebellion. Both have victories at the distance. Their outside posts could prove difficult to overcome.

Mile (Turf): Hard not to like Kip Deville, last year's winner, here...but watch out for Euro-invader Goldikova (won last 3 races, prior to that was 2nd and 3rd to Arc-winning filly Zarkava). Be very afraid, Kipper.

Juvenile: I like Street Hero, but suspect there won't be much betting value there, so I'm looking to border-hopper Mine that Bird, a gelded son of Birdstone, who has won 4 straight and might have a little bit of dad left in him.

Juvenile Turf: Gotta go Euro here...Westphalia and Donativum look tough. If you have to stick with your country, Skipadate looks good and some unknown force is drawing me toward Orthodox, a recent maiden turf mile winner.

Sprint: The horror. So much speed. They're all doomed. I love First Defence, a son of the mare Honest Lady, who was second in the sprint as a filly. The race sets up nicely for Street Boss and Cost of Freedom, but both may be pinned inside in the one and two posts. Midnight Lute has been working lights out for this race, but ultimately is better on real dirt and at 7 furlongs instead of 6. None of that matters though, because Black Seventeen is going to lay waste to the field, likely at 15:1 or more.

Turf: Look for a Euro-heavy here. Former BC Turf winner Red Rocks (if he's in shape) or Soldier of Fortune (if the Arc didn't wipe him out 3 weeks ago) could be tough. Euro 3 year olds, Conduit and Winchester, look equally tough here. Both are recent Grade 1 winners in impressive fashion. If you have to bet American, Shug ships Dancing Forever in from the east coast. He's not the type of trainer to do that just for a fun.

Classic: Curlin looks for a repeat. He might get it, but not with any of my money behind him. I'm looking toward Casino Drive. He's the undefeated Japanese horse who skipped the Belmont with a last minute foot injury. He's back with a prep win at Santa Anita. Student Council is tough at the distance and on synthetic tracks. If you want to go Euro, Duke of Marmalade and Henry the Navigator both look good for trainer Aidan O'Brien. I liked Henry until they named his regular jockey to Duke (I love hints from trainers). Both are newcomers to the fake dirt stuff. Another interesting longshot here is Colonel John, who is 3 for 3 at Santa Anita and has been working brilliantly.

Bet early (first post 10:10am, PST) and often...

Cheers,
B

Best Bet: Black Seventeen (Sprint)

poking fun at yourself for votes...

2008-10-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Caribou Barbie on SNL

a nude beach cover waiting to happen...

2008-10-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

rip this...

2008-10-16T21:27:00.001-07:00

the other side of the fence...

2008-10-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

regardless of which side you might be on this is pretty damn funny.

prix de l'arc de triomphe

2008-10-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

so, the favorites always win in europa, too? Oui...

$%#&ing target!

2008-09-27T17:42:00.001-07:00

Thanks Target, for training your employees so well. Next time I shop there, I'll make sure to leave them a big tip on the fitting room floor.

signs of the times...

2008-09-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

From Venezuela (those French will sleep with anyone)

From China

From Wall Street

RIP, Butch.

Time to take stock of what's important (and maybe gather some nuts and berries for the long winter).

B

aesthetic diversity

2008-09-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

An interesting read on affirmative action, Clarence Thomas and Sarah Palin.

bubble boy

2008-09-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Here's a little political nugget, care of the good Doctor. I won't guarantee any of its content, but it's an interesting video, nonetheless. Read (a little) more about the CRA here and on the US Housing Bubble here.

Guess it's the wrong time to be out buying a house...or maybe not?

B

The (apparently popular) dark knight

2008-09-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

Caught The Dark Night at the Esquire IMAX last night. If you're going to see the movie, spend the extra 5 bucks and do it right. Great movie, great acting all around...especially for a, um, Batman movie. Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman (Sid!) and Aaron Eckhart all did a fine job. Perhaps Robert Downey Jr. had moved the bar up a little for comic book flicks with his Ironman performance?

B

a little late, but...

2008-09-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

top ten...

2008-09-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know it's Sunday...I should prbably be in church, but that didn't make the list.

dfw remembered...

2008-09-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

murderers row, revisited...

2008-09-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I think I'm on the cusp of a major scientific/sociological breakthrough. I've long suspected that my theory was true, but my experience at Starbucks (where else) pretty much confirmed it. Now I just need some college students with notepads and stopwatches to gather enough data to conclusively prove my theory.

You see, dear readers, it turns out that if you have too many men working behind the counter at Starbucks, they are incredibly slow. I'm not sure if they're tripping over each other's manhood or if they just can't communicate or if they just don't care or what. I haven't worked out the exact numbers yet, but my advice to you is this...anytime you see more men than women behind the counter, head down the block to the next Starbucks (it's not a long drive) and hope for a more expeditious male/female ratio.

Today it was essentially 3 guys working...a woman showed up later...once the line was practically out the door. There was the guy behind the register, who always looks strangely unawake/unaware for someone working in a caffeinery. Next, there's the guy who's running around taking orders, getting food, remembering everyone's order, greeting the regulars, etc. Finally, there's the guy making the drinks...I had the impression that he must be a newbie, he was struggling just to keep the assembly line moving forward. After a short while, this created another "murderers row" of disgruntled customers lined up against the wall, their gazes fixed on the barista...burning a hole through his skull.

Anyway...anyone who can explain the reasons behind this phenomenon, please, by all means...leave a comment and take a stab at it.

Cheers,
B

PS. Upon further research, it appears I'm recycling my own blog posts. That can't be good...

read the footnotes...

2008-09-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

It's odd, last time I was wandering aimlessly around a bookstore I thought to myself that I needed to bite the bullet and read David Foster Wallace's gargantuan novel, Infinite Jest. And now, it turns out, he's...well...dead of an apparent suicide. He had suffered from depression for 20 years.

He wrote some great non-fiction as well...check out his article on my boy, John McCain, on the campaign trail in 2000 or his article on the Maine LobsterFest in his book, Consider the Lobster.

RIP

a toast to RP...

2008-09-13T16:50:00.001-07:00

I think my photographer was supposed to take some video here, but I ended up with just a photo or three. There might have been some drinking involved...although Lee Harv, Mrs. Lee and I teamed up for a birdie...so the mescaline must have helped balance things out.

Cheers,
B

PS. Big thanks to Doc, Lee (and I presume Mrs. Lee), Mari and Ron for putting on the gig...and associated festivities!

secret weapon?

2008-09-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

You go girl...

something new...

2008-08-31T23:05:00.001-07:00

Here's a tip from our man on the web, RP. Cool stuff...

Looks worthy of a download and some experimentation.

rock on,
B

gonzo

2008-08-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I took a little slice of my Friday off and went to see Gonzo. I had high expectations, given the subject matter and that I had just recently finished off the book of the same name. Well, I didn't walk away with too many new revelations, but it was still an interesting look at (mostly) the peak of HST's career...from Hells Angels through Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. Those chapters of his life make up the bulk of the movie, which, after reading the book, may be a good thing. There certainly are suggestions from those closest to him that his work after that was both a struggle to get out and not his best work. So, I guess I'll give it a "worth seeing if you're a diehard" rating (you know who you are).

Next up on Netflix is another HST bio, Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride. We'll see how it compares...

Regardless, I still owe HST a huge debt for turning me on to reading through Vegas in my college years. For that, I am eternally grateful. As I've found out since that read though, he is a very tough act to follow.

Cheers,
B